Podcasts
Maslow on Higher Love
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Discover how Abraham Maslow's insights into love reveal a profound distinction between deficiency love (D-love) and being love (B-love), and how these concepts can transform our relationships and self-understanding. This episode explores Maslow's research on healthy, exceptional humans and their capacity for higher love.
- The life and influence of Abraham Maslow on psychology and personal growth
- The hierarchy of needs and the simplified ERG theory by Clay Alderfer
- The concept of deficiency love (D-love) versus being love (B-love)
- Early attachment studies by Spitz, Bowlby, and Levy and their importance for human survival
- How love contributes to self-actualization and the well-being of exceptional individuals
- Practical applications of B-love in caregiving, relationships, and spiritual practice
- Maslow’s parallels between B-love, mystics’ love for God, and appreciation of art
- The impact of love on self-acceptance, growth, and human potential
- Personal stories illustrating the practice of love and compassion, including rescue of wildlife
Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction: The episode’s focus on Abraham Maslow and higher love 00:25 – Maslow’s study of exceptional human beings and focusing on what’s good 00:54 – The hierarchy of needs and Clay Alderfer's ERG theory 1:24 – How needs can be flipped and the resilience of self-actualized individuals 2:24 – Maslow’s teachings on love and its role in human development 3:22 – Maslow’s method: studying healthy, creative, high-potential individuals 3:51 – Celebrated figures studied by Maslow, including Abraham Lincoln and Albert Schweitzer 4:32 – The concept of reverence for life and compassion in Albert Schweitzer 5:24 – Eleanor Roosevelt and the importance of universal human rights 5:35 – Maslow’s insights on different types of love: D-love and B-love 6:10 – Explanation of deficiency love (D-love) and early attachment needs 7:14 – Early attachment research and the tragic findings of Spitz’s studies 8:13 – The effects of lack of maternal attachment and attachment theory support 9:55 – The role of love in survival and Maslow’s view of deficiency love as a hole 11:23 – The nature of B-love as unselfish and abundant 11:34 – Qualities of B-love: unconditional, non-possessive, and joy-giving 12:01 – The therapeutic and spiritual power of experiencing B-love 12:54 – Personal stories of practicing love in caregiving and work 14:08 – The energy and vitality gained from loving without expectation 15:15 – B-love's spiritual and aesthetic connections 16:21 – Romantic love and the differences from B-love, including anxiety and independence 17:22 – The qualities of B-love in romantic relationships: autonomy, generosity, and depth 18:22 – The “love is blind” myth explained through neurochemistry 19:34 – The concept of intra-object richness—the fascination with loved ones 20:30 – Details and love for the beloved as an expression of deep connection 21:16 – How B-love influences self-perception, acceptance, and growth 22:02 – The distinction that deficiency love (D-love) can be gratified, but B-love offers spiritual fulfillment 22:58 – Personal story about rescuing baby raccoons, illustrating D-love and compassion 24:31 – The story of rescuing raccoons and connecting it to Maslow’s ideas 27:19 – Upcoming episode on peak experiences and plateau states in exceptional humans 28:47 – Practicing higher love and starting wherever we are emotionally 29:13 – Closing remarks and gratitude
This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!
Family Estrangement: Insights and Solutions
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Recent studies indicate that about one in four Americans experience some form of family estrangement. This statistic is alarming, as many individuals report feeling deeply troubled by this estrangement. A significant portion of these estrangements occur between parents and their adult children, emphasizing the need for understanding and addressing familial relationships. In this podcast and video, expert guest Dr. Tamsen Thorpe and I explore the causes, implications and solutions for family estrangement, drawing on insights from experts in psychology and family dynamics.
What is Family Estrangement?
Family estrangement refers to a cutoff in communication or contact between family members. It ranges from complete no contact to limited interactions, such as only connecting through social media. It is not always a straightforward situation; some families might maintain superficial ties while feeling emotionally distant. Understanding these nuances is crucial for addressing the underlying issues that contribute to estrangement.
This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!
Anger in Leadership with Dr. Julian Barling PhD and Dr. Simon Rego, PsyD
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You’re in a leadership role and the anger bubbles up. Or . . .you’re the subject of the leader experiencing anger. Learn about anger in leadership as well as transformational leadership from the best selling authors of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook for Leaders: How Improving your Mental Health is Essential to Avoiding Burnout and Leading More Effectively, Dr. Julian Barling PhD and Dr. Simon A. Rego, PsyD. I have started sharing my podcasts on YouTube as well – find this one under @AlexandraMillerClark. Some gems I learned from this interview include:
* just a little bit of anger can be motivating
* showing anxiety can be more effective than showing anger as a leader . . . But not too much!
*sometimes it helps to say “I don’t know” or “I’m sorry”
*it’s good to prepare for future crises as leaders
*leaders who show anger are just humans with a range of emotions
This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!
Short Episode: A Meditation to help with Resentment
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In this brief episode I share a helpful meditation / prayer to help with resentment. It has helped both my patients and myself and can be useful as we build the “forgiveness muscle.” To learn more about forgiveness, listen to the seventeen brief “forgiveness series” episodes on this show.
This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!
Navigating Parenting Challenges with Compassion
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This episode was simultaneously recorded by video which can be found on LinkedIn or YouTube (Alexandra Miller Clark). In this episode, we explore themes of compassion, the importance of self-management in parenting and nervous system regulation. Dr. Nicole Dolan also discusses her forthcoming memoir, “The Art of Chaos,” which reflects on her experiences as a mother and therapist. Dr. Nicole Dolan is a licensed psychotherapist and the Founder of Sacred Paths non-profit group in California.
At the start of the show, I share about a Japanese hero, Sempo Sugihara, and dedicate the show to the National Liberty Museum in Philadelphia.
Conscious Parenting and Self-Management 05:39
Nervous System Regulation and Breathwork 09:02
Exploring Triggers and Emotional Responses 11:36
The Role of the Body in Therapy 15:46
Understanding Split Off Parts of Self 20:18
Reintegration of Trauma and Healing 26:08
The Art of Chaos: A Memoir 35:29
Surviving vs. Thriving in Parenting – last
This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!
Bravery, Risk and Reward
“God will not have his work made manifest by cowards” Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Join us for this delightful conversation with Dr. Beth Rom Rymer and Neill Clark on the topic of risk taking in our lives. We contemplate ideas by Machiavelli, Goethe, Lincoln and George Washington. We discuss psychological and moral risks – courageous action for things aligned with our values and even better, for principles greater than ourselves.
As this episode is being recorded and released, Dr. Beth Rom Rymer is running for President Elect of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Beth Rom-Rymer’s distinguished career includes groundbreaking work with survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence advocacy, and forensic geriatrics. She had been a lecturer at The University of Chicago and Northwestern University for over two decades; led the successful legislative movement for prescriptive authority in Illinois and is a national and international leader with Prescriptive Authority Movements around the globe. Dr. Rom-Rymer co-founded and is President of the Association of Jewish Psychologists. She has won numerous awards for her work, including: Distinguished Illinois Psychologist from the Illinois Psychological Association (2012 and 2014); Outstanding Psychologist of the Year from APA’s Division 31 (2014); APA Presidential Citation for Outstanding Leadership (2015); APA Karl Heiser Award for Legislative Advocacy (2015); Wellner Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Register of Health Service Psychologists (2016); Social Impact Leaders Award from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology (2018).
Neill W. Clark, JD, antitrust attorney, current Mayor of Sparta, New Jersey and coach to competitive runners, brings in some athletic examples of risk and reward.
This episode was recorded on August 20th, 2024
This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!